Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Tom Molineaux v. Tom Cribb




Tom Molineaux v. Tom Cribb

The lovely folks at Hero of Switzerland (http://www.heroofswitzerland.com/) asked me to contribute to their annual group show, opening for two weeks at the end of this week at the VZ Gallery (http://www.vzgallery.com/) on Cheshire Street, off Brick Lane, E2. If you're about, please pop along.

The theme and title for the show is 'Heroes & Villains' and I started to look at bare-knuckle boxers, thieves and highwaymen, who straddle both camps by being both outlawed or criminal, but also folkloric heroes.

In the end I settled on this dyptich of the famous bare-knuckle boxers Tom Molineaux and Tom Cribb, who first met in December 1810 in a match that lasted a brutal 39 rounds and ended with Molineaux unconscious and Cribb declared the victor.

The rules of boxing at this time were simple and few:
  • Fights are with bare fists.
  • No kicking, biting, gouging, or elbowing.
  • Grappling and throws are allowed above the waist.
  • A round ends when one fighter is knocked down. Fighters are given 30 seconds to rest, and the next round begins
  • There are no judges to score the bout. The fight ends only with complete unconsciousness from one of the fighters or when a fighter quits.
Cribb was a hard, accurate puncher. While considered by some critics to be slow, Cribb's style was awkward and effective. He was a skilled man in the ring, and his style gave many of the best of his era considerable problems. He was also quite strong, a good wrestler (important in those days), and incredibly durable--he took massive beatings in many of his fights and refused to quit. Originally from Bristol, Cribb came to London as a teenager to work as a coal porter at Wapping. He was said he trained by punching the bark off trees!

Molineaux was a former slave from Virginia, America and was a tough, durable fighter. He learned English pugilism, of a sort, in order to fight in the brutal matches that slave owners arranged from time to time between their slaves. Molineaux's boxing career ended in 1815. After a stint in a debtor's prison he became increasingly dependent on alcohol, and died penniless in the regimental bandroom in Ireland three years later from liver failure. He was 34 years old.

The fight caused a national sensation and scandal, discussed feverously across the country in taverns, from pulpits and ven in Parliament. Not because of Molineaux's colour, nor his numerous affairs with white women but the much greater offense, in their eyes, of being an AMERICAN! The idea that a foreigner could take the sacred trophy of British sporting was unthinkable.

The paintings are painted in acrylic on mdf/ masonite panel and both measure 12" across by approx. 16" down. They are for sale at £300 the pair.





Twitter Ye Not - Blackpool Lights


Twitter Ye Not - Blackpool Lights

A regular piece for the Daily Mail Weekend magazine about how figures in history might have twittered or tweeted or whatever, had they the chance, inclination and technology.

On the 18th September 1879, the Blackpool Illuminations were turned on the first time. The display consisted of just eight ar lights and preceded Thomas Edison's patenting of the lightbulb by 12 months. The light generated was called "artificial sunshine" and these were possibly the first electric street lights in the world. Here we imagine the Twitter feed that might have accompanied that exciting event.

On the light-hand side we have American inventor Thomas Edison. In illustration & animation an idea is usually represented by an electric lightbulb suddenly switching on - in Edison's case that literally WAS his idea! I have shown an accurate(-ish) portrayal of that first bulb.

Facing him on the right is Poet Laureate Alfred Lord Tennyson (called Alfred Lawn Tennis-on by James Joyce in 'Ulysses'!) who, apparently, invoked the muse and penned a poem on the occassion. I have shown the pen that did the penning in his outer breast pocket. Tennyson cut quite a dash sartorially, often sporting a cape, cavalier-style shirts and a broad-brimmed hat, which here I have given a cheeky sea-side air with the legend "Kiss Me Quick". Quick kissing is very much de rigeur on the English coast.

The Blackpool Tower (and Ballroom below), standing anachronistically between the two gentleman at the AD's behest, was opened to the public on 14 May 1894.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Restaurant Magazine - September 2011


Restaurant Magazine - September 2011

A piece for my regular Strets & the City slot (written by financial analyst Mark Stretton) in monthly trade publication, Restaurant magazine.

This was a piece about Steve Easterbrook, president and chief executive of McDonalds UK, leaving the fast-food chain to become chief executive of Pizza Express and its subsiduary companies Zizzi, Ask and Byron.

I have shown Easterbrook in McDo-style uniform, slicing up the company pizza.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Twitter Ye Not - Hadrian's Wall


Twitter Ye Not - Hadrian's Wall

A regular piece for the Daily Mail Weekend magazine about how figures in history might have twittered or tweeted or whatever, had they the chance, inclination and technology.

It was during mid-September in 122AD that construction began on Hadrian’s Wall, which marked the northern limit of Roman territory in Britain. We imagine the Twitter feed of that ancient and industrious time.

On the one side I have shown the Emperor Hadrian, aka Publius Aelius Trajanus Hadrianus Augustus, third of the so-called Five Good Emperors, supervising contruction of his famous wall. He holds a-loft a map of the northern outer reaches of the Roman Empire, with his proposed barrier separating unruly Caledonia from the rest of Britannia and mainland Europe.

The wall was built by Roman centurians (hence the hard hat sign) - even then you couldn't trust English manual workers!

On the other side of the construction stands an irate Pict, unhappy at the thought of being hemmed in so discourteously. Contemporary accounts say the Picts usually fought naked (in Scotland! brrrrr!) with only swords, shields, a neck torc and talismanic woad 'tattoos' for protection. The markings on his skin are based on actual Pictish designs.

Hadrian was homosexual (that's why he's enjoying the view that extra wall-block shields from our eyes!) and when his Bithynian Greek lover, Antinous, was drowned tragically in the Nile, Hadrian founded the Egyptian city of Antinopolis in his memory, and had Antinous deified – an unprecedented honour for one not of the ruling family. Now that's what I call a send-off!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Twitter Ye Not - Richard the Lionheart


Twitter Ye Not - Richard the Lionheart

A regular piece for the Daily Mail Weekend magazine about how figures in history might have twittered or tweeted or whatever, had they the chance, inclination and technology.

On the 3rd September 1189 Richard the Lionheart was crowned King of England at Westminster Abbey. We imagine the Twitter feed from that historic day.

Richard I, known as Lionheart (or Coeur de Lion in french) on account of his bravery in battle, was the son of Henry II and his wife Eleanor of Aquitaine, and great-grandson of William the Conquerer (aka William the Bastard). He is described as being of quick-temper, tall and handsome, with red or blond hair and furious grey eyes. Quite a hottie then.

On the downside Richard is tarred with episodes of violence against Jews, and of course with the Third Crusade (hence the stone Cross in my image). Raised in France and speaking no English, during his ten year reign Richard spent less than 6 months on English soil, claiming that it was 'cold and always raining'. Cheeky sod! Sometimes we have 'cold and windy' too! Richard spent most of his time in the Holy Land (fighting Saracens) or at the French Court - he is rumoured to have had an affair with King Philip II of France. Oh la la.

Coeur de Lion, as the name of a small English apple, was corrupted to Codlin, a common word until the middle of the last century.

A bat flew around Richard's head at his coronation apparently, but sadly I didn't know that at the time or I'd have snuck a little pipistrelle into my image!

On the other side, in front of the famous Oak that bears his name, stands Robin Hood, aka Robin of Locksley, out-law hero of Sherwood Forest. He's clearly a big fan of Richard (but then he did have to deal with Richard's evil and scheming brother John, so fair enough). I have based him on Errol Flynn.

I know a great story about Flynn, a towel and a salami, but regrettably its too blue for an open, family-friendly website like this!


Museum Journal - Part 15


Museum Journal - Part 15

Part 15 of the Director of the National Museum of Britsh History's Diary, for regular client Museum Journal (MJ).

This month our man is called to an emergency meeting at the National Gallery of all London national museum directors after last week's outbreak of rioting and looting.

The bit I liked best was when Sir N (our man's boss in government) proposed to issue a Statement condemning people who steal, are obsessed with materialist consumer goods, don't care about anyone else, don't pay taxes, and destroy the society in which they live, until it was pointed out that he had just described his collecting policy and the profile of his biggest donor! Haha. I can think of a couple of supermarket chains who fit that description!

My image is, of course, a nod to grafittista Banksy. 'Cos I is so Street, issit.

As always with MJ the final print size is minute (3 or 4 cm across tops) so its crucial to keep the design very simple and the detail to a minimum.


Monday, August 15, 2011

Twitter Ye Not - Great Fire of London


Twitter Ye Not - Great Fire of London

A regular piece for the Daily Mail Weekend magazine about how figures in history might have twittered or tweeted or whatever, had they the chance, inclination and technology.

In the early hours of Sunday 2nd September 1666, the Great Fire of London started at Thomas Farriner's bakery in Pudding Lane. It would burn for four days and destroy more than 13,000 homes, 87 parish churches and the old St Paul's Cathedral. Here, we imagine the Twitter feed from that turbulent time.

On the one side I have shown Samuel Pepys, naval administrator, diarist and Member of Parliament, whose detailed private diary (kept from 1660 until 1669) is one of the most important primary sources for the English Restoration period. It provides a combination of personal revelation and eyewitness accounts of great events, such as the Great Plague, the Second Dutch War and, of course, the Great Fire.

Despite being a happily married man Pepys was not averse to the odd extra-marital affair, although, in fairness, he did always regret it immediately afterwards! When describing sexual trysts his language would shift suddenly to (pidgin) french or spanish - here's a saucy sample (avert your eyes now if easily offended!);-
“…we did send for a pair of old shoes for Mrs. Lowther, and there I did pull the others off and put them on, and did endeavour para tocar su thigh but ella had drawers on, but yo did besar la and tocar sus mamelles, elle being poco shy, but doth speak con mighty kindness to me that she would desire me pour su marido if it were to be done. Here staid a little at Sir W. Penn’s, who was gone to bed, it being about 11 at night, and so I home to bed.”

Opposite Pepys is Nell Gwynne (or Gwyn or Gwynn), actress, whore, theatre orange- and sweetmeat seller (hence the basket of fruit) and long-time mistress of Charles II, aka 'the Merry Monarch', by whom she bore two illegitimate sons. Pepys described her as 'pretty, witty Nell' and she is especially remembered for one particularly apt witticism, which was recounted in the memoirs of the Comte de Gramont, remembering the events of 1681:

Nell Gwynn was one day passing through the streets of Oxford, in her coach, when the mob mistaking her for her rival, the Duchess of Portsmouth, commenced hooting and loading her with every opprobrious epithet. Putting her head out of the coach window, "Good people", she said, smiling, "you are mistaken; I am the Protestant whore."

Behind the pair the city, all wood and pitch and straw as London then was, burns to the ground.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Twitter Ye Not - Charles Darwin


Twitter Ye Not - Charles Darwin

A regular piece for the Daily Mail Weekend magazine about how figures in history might have twittered or tweeted or whatever, had they the chance, inclination and technology.

On 20 July 1858, in a joint submission with Alfred Russel Wallace, Charles Darwin first published his theory of evolution in the Journal of the Proceedings of the Linnean Society of London. Here, we imagine how the Twitter community reacted.

On the right-hand side I have shown Charles Darwin as he looked in the late 1850s, a copy of 'On the Origin of Species by means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle of Life' (phew!) under his arm. At his feet stands a Beagle, a reference to the ship on which Darwin first began to formulate the idea more than twenty years before. The bone at the dog's feet is, of course, also a nod to the fossil evidence for the theorem found on that famous voyage!

Across from him stands Samuel Wilberforce, Bishop of Oxford, who famously opposed the publication, and in a debate with Thomas Huxley (known as 'Darwin's Bulldog') asked Huxley whether he was descended from monkeys on his mother's or father's side (and got soundly and eloquently rebuked!). He was known as 'Soapy Sam' after a comment made by statesman Benjamin Disraeli, who referred to the cleric as 'unctuous, oleaginous, saponaceous' (ie slippery, evasive and soapy).

Darwin was grandson of both the royal physician Erasmus Darwin and the potter Josiah Wedgwood (and thereby also related to cousins Tony Benn and Margaret Rutherford!). I've given CD a monkey's tail as many satirical cartoons at the time did.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Twitter Ye Not - Marie Antoinette Arrested


Twitter Ye Not - Marie Antoinette Arrested

A regular piece for the Daily Mail Weekend magazine about how figures in history might have twittered or tweeted or whatever, had they the chance, inclination and technology.

On the 13 of August 1792, King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette of France, along with their children, were arrested by republican revolutionaries and imprisoned at the Temple in Paris. The king would be executed six months later with his queen - 'Widow Capet' - following him to the guillotine within a year. Here we imagine the Twitter feed of that fateful week-end.

I have shown on one side a nervous Marie Antoinette looking fearfully at the guillotine's bloodied blade. Beside her is a shepherdess' basket, full of brioche. It was 'brioche', and not 'cake' that she alledgedly told the peasants to eat in the absence of bread. Either way they didn't see the funny side...
Facing her is old Madame Marie Tussaud, former art tutor to the Royal family, with a bucket of Plaster-of-Paris in her hand for casting the royal and aristocratic death-masks she was forced to make post-Revolution to prove her commitment to the new cause.