Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Twitter Ye Not - Troy


Twitter Ye Not - Troy

A regular piece for a certain national newspaper about how figures in history might have twittered or tweeted or whatever, had they the chance, inclination and technology.

According to Eratosthenes, the Greek mathematician and astronomer, it was in early July of 1184BC that the armies of the Greeks, concealed in a wooden horse, entered the ancient city of Troy and brought about its destruction. Excavations on the prehistoric internet have now revealed the Twitter feed of that extraordinary time.

I have shown vain and beautiful Helen of Troy on the one side, with one of the thousand greek ships that her face is said to have launched beached on the shore behind her. On the right side, next to the walls of mighty Troy, stands blind Homer, scrolls of the Iliad and Odyssey under his arm. Between them is the Trojan Horse. The ground shows a 'greek key' pattern.

Museum Journal - Part 13


Museum Journal - Part 13

Part 13 of the Director of the National Museum of Britsh History's Diary, for regular client Museum Journal (MJ).

This month our man commissions artwork from 10 of the country's top artists (Tracy Emin, Damian Hurst et al.) to mark the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. But the artwork is all critical and the Director is forced to donate all the artwork to an unnamed northern museum.

Here our man ponders Steve Bell's portrayal of Prince Charles (Prince of Wales) as St. George, being eaten alive by a Welsh dragon!

As always with MJ the final print size is minute (3 or 4 cm across tops) so its crucial to keep the design very simple and the detail to a minimum.

Twitter Ye Not - Profumo


Twitter Ye Not - Profumo

A regular piece for a certain national newspaper about how figures in history might have twittered or tweeted or whatever, had they the chance, inclination and technology.

On the 5th June 1963, John Profumo resigned as Secretary of State for War, admitting he lied to Parliament about his relationship with call girl Christine Keeler.

I have shown Ms Keeler in the naked pose on a back-turned chair made famous by photographer Lewis Morley. Across from her is the crestfallen John Profumo, with the portcullis of the Houses of Commons above his head. Between them is what is known affectionately as Eros, at Piccadilly Circus, the heart of swinging London in the 1960s.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Twitter Ye Not - Mount Everest


Twitter Ye Not - Mount Everest

A regular piece for a certain national newspaper about how figures in history might have twittered or tweeted or whatever, had they the chance, inclination and technology.

On the 29th May 1953, Sir Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay became the first men to reach the summit of Mount Everest. News of their historic achievement reached Britain five days later, on the morning of the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II. Of course, if she’d had access to the Twitter feed, she’d have found out sooner.

Here I have shown Hillary (a kiwi, not an Englishman) tweeting the highest tweet on Earth. He has taken off his hat and goggles to reveal his huge quiff. On the other side of the peak stands his guide, the Sherpa Tenzing Norgay. Doing my research for this was an absolute pleasure - both chaps seemed most congenial and always quick to smile.

The Union flag (only truly a Union Jack if on a ship!) is a horrid flag to draw and I have never really liked it much - when I was growing up in the 70s it had a lot of very negative right-wing connotations. To mention nothing of Geri Halliwell's bottom!! Mind you, the St. George's cross isn't much better. The Union flag still contains the St. Patrick's cross yet has no reference to my beloved Wales. Well, Scotland look set now to leave the Union (after 300 unhappy years) so maybe its time for a re-design? (I propose a red dragon pooping on a rose bush).

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Twitter Ye Not - The War of the Roses


Twitter Ye Not - The War of the Roses

A regular piece for a certain national newspaper about how figures in history might have twittered or tweeted or whatever, had they the chance, inclination and technology.

On 22 May 1455 Richard of York led his troops against an increasingly demented Henry VI at the Battle of St Albans, the first sally in the War of the Roses. The Twitter feed of that fateful weekend has recently been discovered.

I have shown mad Henry VI standing in his tent at St Albans pretending to be a hat-stand (well, he is demented) whilst on the other side of the image advances Richard Plantagenet, 3rd Duke of York and claimant to Henry's throne. Dick wears a tunic bearing his arms and carries a shield showing his family badge or crest, the white falcon (or eagle) of the Plantagenets. Above Henry is the red rose of the House of Lancaster, above Richard's head can be seen the white rose of York - two branches of the Plantagenet line, both with claims to the English throne (there's no Britain at this point!).

Richard won the battle but never made it to King (he did indeed do battle in vain, as the rainbow sequence mnemonic has it), although two of his sons,Edward IV and Richard III (A Horse! A Horse! My Kingdom for a Horse!) both did. He was slain at the Battle of Wakefield, from whence his head was taken and placed upon the walls of York city, wearing a paper crown.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Twitter Ye Not - Amy Johnson


Twitter Ye Not - Amy Johnson

A regular piece for a certain national newspaper about how figures in history might have twittered or tweeted or whatever, had they the chance, inclination and technology.

In May 1936, aviatrice Amy Johnson landed at Croydon Airport in G-ADZO, a Percival Gull Six, at the end of a record-breaking four day, 16 hour solo flight from South Africa. Aviation archivists have now released the Twitter feed of that weekend.

I have shown Ms Johnson (at the time Mrs Jim Mollison) on the podium at Croydon, a prize trophy on the ground beside her. Croydon means Valley of the Crocuses, so I have shown one of those minute flowers blooming unseasonably late at the podium's base.

On the other side of image stands thrice-married Wallis Simpson (lover, then wife of Edward VIII, and subsequently the exiled Duchess of Windsor). Anachronistically she is here wearing the garish flamingo broach made by Cartier and bought for her by Edward in 1940! Wallis, a friend and admirer of Adolf Hitler, looks on at Yorkshire lass Amy with distain and surprise.

Behind her stands Amy Johnson's biplane and between the two ladies is a 1930s cocktail table with Champagne and glasses upon it.

Tragically Amy Johnson died in January 1941, aged just 37. Flying in adverse weather conditions and out of fuel Amy was forced to bale out over the Thames estuary, where she, and her would-be rescuer Walter Fletcher, both drowned. Her body was never recovered.

Click on the Image to see it in more detail!